Let me set the scene for you. It’s getting to be late at night (almost midnight) and five of us have just finished a heroic ToC. There’s me on Niqora, Goldmoon on her DK alt, Kazi the shaman, Velinix the crazy suicidal pally, and Mootwo the other shaman whose main is in Bloodriver. We could have gone to bed. We should have gone to bed. But then the question pops.
“Who wants to do Nexus? Gold can tank.”
Gold has some tanking gear but has never tanked in her life. We don’t even know if she’ll be def capped when she puts it on.
“You up for it Gold?”
“Sure, I’ll try it.”
Vel switches to his rogue which just hit 80 about 2 weeks ago. Kazi says he’ll heal because he’s already got his gear on, despite the fact that he prefers enhancement. Gold grabs her tanking gear and finds that she’s just short of the def cap. Meh, good enough for us.
Off to Nexus we go.
As we make our way to the Alliance commander boss, Kazi gives Gold the quickest rundown I’ve ever heard of how to DK tank. To sum it up: “Pull in the caster, drop DnD, and spam your diseases. Oh, and make sure you’re in frost presense.” Gold isn’t even sporting a tanking spec, she’s unholy DPS.
Despite all of this, she’s doing pretty good. She only has 20k health though so sometimes she goes down fast right after the pull. At that point, I hit my macro to switch Growl on and pop Intimidation while frantically saying into vent, “Just heal Blacky, just keep her up.” Between the 2 shammies, they managed to keep her up as I switch targets like a madman to keep all the aggro onto her. (By the end of the instance, I’ve pet-tanked 3 or 4 groups of trash. My new motto is now “Blacky saves people.” 😉 )
I do pull an oops when I press my shot macro after everything’s dead, which of course auto-targets the nearest mob and pulls them right in. Luckily it’s not a big oops as Gold picks them up right away and no one dies. We’re all allowed one mistake per instance, right? >.>
I soon find out I have nothing to worry about in regards to mistakes. Both the Alliance commander and the mage bosses go down without a problem. But then…as we head to Anomalis, certain brains lose their effectiveness. (Or as they put it, they’ve lost “thinky points”.)
First Vel leaps to his death off one of the platforms because Moo dared him to (and Vel is always leaping off high places “for fun”). We have to wait for him to run back. Then he stealths towards a group of dragonkin, only for them to see him. Splat goes the little rogue and look, here they come at us. Hai Mr. Dragon! Gold goes down fast and I kick Blacky-tank into gear, preventing a wipe.
We get to Anomalis and kill him real quick. On our way down the platforms, Vel is totally not paying attention and manages to run right off one of the platforms…again. All we hear over vent is “Oh s***!” and suddenly Vel’s dead again. We all laugh at him and kill some trash while we wait for him to come back.
We’re almost out of that particular area…we approach the last set of mobs in there. Suddenly Kazi completely forgets who he’s playing, walks right up to the mobs, and calmly drops his totems. Splat goes the shammy healer. “What the…I have no idea why I just did that.” Cue hysterical laughter on vent. The mobs die anyways so we work on scrapping up what’s left of Kazi, who then decides that he’s a little tired to be healing and Moo takes over.
We get through the gauntlet with only one wipe, despite the fact that Vel stealths again towards a mob, forgetting that he is not actually stealthed. Finally we reach the ice giant dude.
Somehow Gold dies on the first set of ice spikes. I switch to Blacky-tank as quickly as I can but somewhere in there, Vel and one of the shammies go down. The remaining shammy tried to heal Blacky but it’s not enough and she goes down. Then he dies as I’m casting Heart of the Phoenix. Blacky’s back up at full health and we manage to get him down to almost all the way before she dies again. I’m out of tricks but I’ll be damned if I’m going to just FD. So instead I start meleeing him. And I killed him. By hitting him with my staff. I had about 200 health left but I did it, damnit! Of course I can’t rez so everyone still has to run back. xD
I swear this next part is from a comedy skit or something. We take the little cave shortcut and are all standing at the edge, ready to jump. Kazi, in his tired state, thinks that he sees Gold jump down so he jumps down too…right into a pat. Vel and I jump down to help but Kazi dies too fast. Then Gold and Moo jump down just as I FD and Vel vanishes. Vel gets out of stealth to help but Gold and Moo die anyways. Vel can’t vanish anymore and joins the others in floor tanking. Guess who’s still alive but can’t rez anyone again? 😉 At this point I’m wiping away the tears, I’m laughing so hard.
Luckily we get to Keri and kill her without mishap.
With all those mistakes, sleepiness, and general goofiness on our part…we agreed that that heroic was the funnest one we’ve had in a long time. I know my own stomach was sore from spending most of the time laughing.
Only in Bloodriver. I love those guys. 🙂
((Thanks to Tzia for telling me “You know Niqo, you should blog all these stories.”))