Comments on: There is no “Faeldray” in “Community” Because you can never have too many pets Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:32:27 +0000 hourly 1 By: Aiyara Thu, 31 Mar 2011 02:19:46 +0000 I just wanted to tell you I love you too beautiful!

By: Ophelie Sun, 27 Mar 2011 10:24:55 +0000 I couldn’t stop thinking about this post, so in addition to the novel I already wrote you, I’m going to say a few more things.

I’m one of “those bloggers” who always goes on and on about “the community”. But in reading your post, I noticed that you and I have very different definitions of the word “community”.

To me, community isn’t about being bestest best friends with everyone and knowing the intimate details of everyone’s life. That’s silly and unrealistic. There’s like what, several hundred, if not thousands of bloggers! No one’s going to be tight with everyone else.

To me, community is about finding support when you need it. It’s about showing and accepting (yes, accepting!) kindness when it occurs. And yes, the WoW blogging community is full of that. When I was sick last fall, I was overwhelmed at how many people, bloggers, readers and random strangers reached out to me. When I left my last guild, it was a hard time, yet again, bloggers, readers and strangers reached out to me and supported me. When I was a new blogger and wanted to learn more, again, I asked those strangers around me and was given answers.

*That’s* what community is to me. More about the kindness of strangers and less about being buddy buddy.

You write a long standing, high quality blog. Yet, until I was shown this post, I’d never heard of you. And I go out of my way to keep tabs on the ins and outs of the blogosphere. Which leads me to believe that you’ve simply never made yourself visible.

Having readers isn’t about who you’re friends with (if that were the case, I’d have like a total of 3 readers). If anything, bloggers who post private jokes with other bloggers and go on and on about who’s part of their circle *alienate* readers.

The end of your post, about not liking it when old high school acquaintances are excited to see you, makes me sad. Don’t scorn those who appreciate you! You’re just as deserving as anyone else of receiving kindness, appreciation and admiration. When you reject others, you’ll feel rejected yourself. When you embrace them, a sense of community will happen naturally.

By: Kadomi Sat, 26 Mar 2011 17:17:23 +0000 I was just recently telling Rhii on Twitter that for me the WoW blogging community is a subset of cliques. Twitter just enhances the cliques even more to a degree. Sometimes I even think of the WoW blogging community as a giant circle jerk, though that’s a bit of a disturbing image.

There are some fabulous people out there in the community and on Twitter, and I am pleased and honored to have met a lot of people this way. But the community itself is not so wonderful and praiseworthy in general, and the brightest lights are usually those who make the biggest noise.

By: Awlbiste Fri, 25 Mar 2011 23:45:15 +0000 I am going to comment before I finish reading (then go back and finish, of course) because I have to agree with what you’ve said already. I feel very strongly that the WoW blogging “community” is one of very strong cliques. I never felt welcome in it, despite twitter and Blog Azeroth and the chat they had going. That’s why I stopped blogging about WoW when I did, a few years ago.

By: Faeldray Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:55:01 +0000 You’re very lucky to have so many commenters. 🙂 My crowd seems to be a lot like me, happy to lurk in the background most of the time. 😛

By: Faeldray Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:53:00 +0000 I have no numbers to support this but I think back when we began blogging, there were a smaller number of WoW bloggers. I thought I knew a lot of them before but now it seems there’s a new one around every corner. This definitely isn’t a bad thing as so many of them are fantastic writers. But it reminds me of when I left high school and began going to university. I went from a town of 300 people and a class of 36 kids to a city of half a million people and over 150 kids in just a single biology class. It was incredibly overwhelming and suddenly being away from the people you are comfortable with can make you feel very alone.

By: Ophelie Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:48:08 +0000 What a fantastic thought-provoking post! I wish I’d come across it sooner.

Re:Blog Azeroth – I came to Blog Azeroth at a time where it was even quieter than it is now. It took a few bloggers and a bit of brainstorming to breath some new life in it. Nowadays, it’s hardly an active social website, so if you go there looking to chit-chat and make friends, you’ll probably be disappointed. It is, however, a place you can go to advertise your posts, ask some questions, read some blogging guides and get some feedback. Most BA members stick around until they get their wings, then they fly off. But if you post a question or an introduction thread, you will almost certainly get at least one response.

I think the lack of purely social activity at BA is just natural evolution. Twitter has really taken off as a social medium and it’s easier, faster and flashier than any message board when it comes to simple socializing.

Re:Cliques – I’m sure they’re out there, but in trying so to ignore them for so long, I don’t really notice them anymore. I think it’s inevitable whenever you get a medium to large size group together: people with similar personalities will branch off into smaller groups. It’s a shame when those ties become unhealthy and result in other individuals being shut out.

I do /facepalm whenever I see people getting in arguments just to defend a cliquemate or just because they don’t like the other person, or when someone comments on friendships being broken over disagreements on blogs. It’s the main reason I don’t really get involved in heating discussion anymore. They just end up becoming so silly and I don’t want any part in that process.

Re:The Sense of Community in WoW Blogging – When I first started writing this comment, I was thinking “back in ‘the good ole’ days’ there were less bloggers, WoW blogging was a new and scary territory, so people were more likely to stick together.” And I believe that’s true to a point. But what else is true is that we don’t have any natural leaders the community at the moment (with perhaps the exception of Larisa). Looking at the history of WoW blogging, we’ve had individuals like Phaelia, like BRK, like Miss Medicina, like Tamarind who seemingly effortlessly got people banding together and talking to each other. What I’ve learned in my attempts to bring the paladin blogging sub-community closer together is that it takes a special kind of personality to inspire a feeling of brother/sisterhood within a group.

Re-Blogging/Social Guilds – I joined SAN when it was first founded but I lost interest fast. I was really interested in getting to know my fellow bloggers when I first started blogging, but I found that the game didn’t give me anything I didn’t already have from Twitter. Being a guild with other bloggers can be a fantastic experience, I enjoyed my time in Conquest with Matticus, Redhawks and the Leetsauced guys, but the blogging aspect of the guild was more of a bonus than anything else. What kept me interested in the guild during the 14 months I was there was the serious approach to raiding with a limited schedule.

Re:Making Friends through blogging – I find that the social aspect of blogging isn’t much different than the other social aspects of my life. There are a few people I don’t really know but deeply admire from afar, a few people that I get along well with and 1 or 2 people I would consider to be dear friends. From what I’ve seen, it’s kind of the same for everyone and people who are naturally more socially-oriented make more friends through blogging than people who prefer their alone time.

Re: Pretending you were BFFs in high school – I’ve heard others echo your sentiment, but me, I *love* when someone I barely spoke to in high school is excited to see me. Even if we weren’t friends at the time, we still went through A LOT together. We had the same teachers, we experienced the same school culture, we reflected on the same world events. There’s something about silent solidarity that I find amazing.

By: Faeldray Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:45:50 +0000 This is very true and a good point. You don’t go to work with the intent of making friends, you go to do your job and get paid. Just as you should enter the blogging community because you have a passion for writing/blogging, not to become best buds with Blogger X. Any friends that you make is icing on the cake of course but it shouldn’t be your purpose for doing it.

By: Faeldray Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:33:00 +0000 It’s true that where there’s people, there will always be fighting. By the very nature of the blogosphere, when bloggers fight, it’s very very public and I think it’s something that can turn a lot of people off. Of course, then you have their blogger friends and/or commenters choosing sides and it just becomes a bloody mess that everyone is a witness to. For anyone who had never seen any of this tension before, it’s even worse because suddenly everyone is up in arms for no reason that they can see. In the Kerfuffle others have mentioned, I had absolutely no clue that any tension even existed and it made me feel even worse about the whole thing.

By: koalabear Fri, 25 Mar 2011 18:27:29 +0000 I feel you on this one. When I first started blogging I did it so that I could have a place to babble instead of in other people’s comments section. I have tapered off in my posts (mostly because I don’t have much to say anymore) over the last 6 months or so and I still feel like I am in the same place I was when I started. Entertainment for my friends and guildies.

I never really got much into the community. I got asked to be on Twisted Nether before I had even joined Blog Azeroth. I think I have 1 or 2 comments on BA. When I signed up and looked over the place it just didn’t call to me. It wasn’t that it was unwelcoming, but I just kind of felt like I didn’t belong so I didn’t pursue it. I almost feel the same way about Twitter. So many conversations are happening at once and half the people never reply to you (even if they are following you and can see your reply) so it feels like it is a large group that ignores you.

As always there are people out there who make you feel welcome regardless of where you have signed up and how much you post. These are the people that I genuinely enjoy reading and where I leave comments. I get the feeling that is how you operate too.

I think your choice to stay where you feel at home is the best thing you could do. It is rare to find a place you can call home. Once you do, keep it!