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It’s like a powder keg

Now I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again… Bloodriver is THE best guild I have ever been in, bar none. We may be scattered all across North America (and even a member in Japan) but I consider these people friends, some of them even better friends than I’ve had outside the game. We’re a pretty close-knit group that’s crazy and funny but we are more than willing to support each other in whatever way we can. We’ve dealt with unemployment, evictions, divorces, and a host of other life crisises that have only made us stronger. But lately there has been a new problem that I for one don’t know how to address: people that don’t care.

One of the fairly active members recently brought a couple of friends she knew IRL into Bloodriver. For the most part they’re eager to join in with all our craziness and just have fun. However, I’m getting a feeling in the pit of my stomach that one of them has a less-than-friendly attitude toward us. Let’s call them Joe. There hasn’t been anything Joe said that has been outright hostile. It’s just a feeling that Joe is using us.

The others from Joe’s group are nice and friendly when Joe is not around but when he is, they all seem to retreat behind a wall of silence and apathy. For whatever reason, they seem to follow Joe. This unfortunately leads to some problems with participation. We do try to seek out members for events such as heroics and raids but because this group has ignored us several times, we’re less inclined to ask them the next time. And then one day they wonder why they’re being so left out.

There have also been moments where this group would come to an event, only to leave at the first opportunity after they got what they wanted. How are we suppose to make people like that feel like they’re part of Bloodriver when they only serve themselves?

For a little while, I had wondered if maybe they were acting this way because we were leaving them out. You see, quite a few of us chat on Vent a lot and often Vent is the first place we ask for people to participate in heroics and such. But after talking to some of the other officers, I realized this is not the case. For an example, we have one member who often has headset problems so she’s not on Vent most of the time. However, she is a very active member…whether it’s through talking in guild chat, helping out other members, or making it known that she’s always willing to join us for our crazy heroics and raids. Being left out has nothing to do with Vent and everything to do with not interacting with the other members.

Regardless, Joe and his group leaves us with a predicament. If anyone says anything about it, it might cause waves with the active member that invited them in the first place. But the thought of someone using the overtly kind members of Bloodriver just depresses me. I’m sure the others in Joe’s group are feeling left out and they don’t realize why this is. But I have a feeling that Joe doesn’t realize that this is a group of friends, not a bunch of people who are there just to further their own goals like it would be in a raiding guild.

At this point in time, my thoughts are that the best strategy is to watch it closely but take no direct action. This is a possibly delicate situation, where the last thing I want to see is it devolve into some guild drama.

So my readers, what is your advice for such a situation?

P.S. Sorry if this post seems unorganized, I was trying to get multiple thoughts down at the same time.